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jokes....

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 2:52 am
by Hikaru-Tsuki
An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.

His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply,
"For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the Money!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any money.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do from here."

******

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?"

The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail."

Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."

The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"

The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought these."

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with those?"

He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."


*****

An artist is talking to the art director at an art show. The artist asks, "Has my art been selling well?"

The director says, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that someone came in an asked if your art would be worth more once you died. I assured him it would, and he bought all of your artwork!"

"Great! Now what is the bad news?" asks the artist.

"Well, the bad news is that the buyer is your doctor."


***

TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence.
MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.

****


Watch this as well, I laughed so much when i saw this....:http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/850425/

Re: jokes....

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 5:54 am
by Taiga
Have any of you come across the 'marriage horse race' ringtone?

It's rather amusing to say the least.

*sigh*

All my jokes are inappropriate in some way or another =/