Review: Highschool of the Dead 6

"Hold on, Takashi. I think I see a quarter."

So, remember when I said last week’s episode of Highschool of the Dead was the worst one yet? Allow me to amend that statement.

Episode 6 is even worse, by a large margin. It’s misogynistic, insulting, stupid, and some of it doesn’t even make sense. In was a complete and utter waste of my time, and I probably lost a few hundred brain cells just watching it. I kid you not, it’s quite possibly one of the worst episodes of any anime I’ve ever seen. And that’s counting Angel Cop.

So if you really want to know why HotD has inspired such rage in me, click the jump.

I dub thee: Softcore Porn of the Dead

The trouble starts within the first minute, as Rei, Saya, Saeko and Shizuka strip naked to have a bath together and fondle each others breasts. Because obviously that’s what girls do, right? They’re all latent lesbians who just can’t wait to rub their hands all over their friends’ bodies? And it’s commonplace for them to grope each others breasts and exclaim how jealous they are of whoever has the biggest ones? Right? RIGHT?


It makes me wonder if the manga creator has ever met a girl, much less dated one. This sort of thing happens in porn, not real life. Why would a supposedly realistic show have its female characters acting like porn stars?

Oh, right, because this is Highschool of the Dead.

Putting aside the absurdity of any girl wanting breasts like Shizuka’s (seriously, they’re disgusting), this episode encapsulates HotD’s attitude toward its audience perfectly: it treats us like we’re stupid. It assumes we don’t care about silly things like character development, good dialogue and a well-paced plot as long as it shows enough skin to keep us horny and distracted. So what better way to make up for all that terrible writing than spending half an episode treating its female cast like brainless sex toys? And then it has the gall to feign modesty when Takashi asks Rei to stop kissing him because he’ll get aroused. So meaningless panty shots and barely-censored nudity is fine, but putting two of the characters in a semi-believable adult relationship is a step too far?

Of course, Takashi and Hirano never strip naked and grope each other while comparing penis sizes. Because that would be gay. Nobody wants to see gay men fondling each others’ naked bodies. That’s just nasty! Ugh, the hypocrisy infuriates me.

They do, however, fondle some guns. Close enough, I guess.

Moving on, the dialogue between Hirano and Takashi is actually fairly good and could have led to a great bonding moment. Fortunately for the appallingly lazy writers, they get interrupted by a drunken Shizuka before they get the chance to talk about anything other than guns and zombies. If the characters could spend even a fourth of their alloted screen time talking about themselves and each other instead of constantly discussing strategy and how terrible their situation is, then they might actually feel like real people. You know, like the kind that I could actually relate to and care about. Instead, Hirano and Saeko are only likable because their cliched traits at least aren’t annoying.

Oh, and I guess there’s some stuff going on with the police outside, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Police give orders, a straw man argument bot masquerading as a throwaway character challenges those orders, said bot is then punished by police. In this case, the guy gets shot in the head.

I. Don’t. Care.

All these people might as well be cardboard cutouts. They only serve as roadblocks for the heroes, fodder for zombies, or foils for authority. That’s it. So why should it be shocking when a police officer caps one in the head? It’s not like he’s shooting a person.

It's a good thing the zombies left the mother alive long enough for her child to eat her and fulfill the irony quota for this episode

So that was episode 6 of HotD. Usually I try to find something I liked about a show, but there was nothing here. The whole thing was a complete waste of time and an insult to my intelligence. I’d rather have another season filled with generic, yet inoffensive, slice-of-life moe shows than another episode of this garbage. Woe on any writer that thinks this kind of storytelling is anything other than immature and irresponsible.

Now excuse me while I boot up Starcraft 2. I suddenly feel the urge to burn a bunch of zerglings.