Project Haruhi

12 Days of Anime #12: My Summer Crush


Now that final exams are over, I've decided to participate in the 12 Days of Anime project. It's kind of a 'back to basics' anime blogging challenge, in which we count down the days until Christmas by writing about 12 anime-related moments from the last year that were particularly memorable or influential. I don't know if I'll be able to come up with 12 things to talk about though, so I might let Dusty fill in some of the blanks. Anyway, here goes!

I have an unusual perspective on fanservice. In my opinion, those promiscuous girls with the giant, floppy tits from Highschool of the Dead or Samurai Girls aren't sexy in the slightest. Perhaps my overexposure to internet porn has made me jaded, but those kinds of blatant attempts at titillation tend to bore me. That's why I always evaluate fanservice-heavy shows so cynically; I'm always looking beyond the breasts, hoping for some worthwhile character or unique story. Sometimes, my patience is rewarded with hidden gems like Kiddy Grade. Most of the time I just wind up disappointed.

But, this summer, something special happened. My first memory of her is during a school meeting, held in the massive marble hall of Occult Academy. Her father had died, but she wasn't sad. She just sat there in a metal folding chair, impatiently tapping her fingers as if annoyed by the whole spectacle. This was a girl who carved her own path in life, and everyone else be damned. Even her clothes, sexy as hell itself, asserted a fierce individuality. This wasn't another feckless fanservice female or mild-mannered moeblob. No, this was a woman with fiery passion and an icy heart.

Her name was Maya Kumashiro. And I had fallen in love with her.

See, Maya wasn't like those other girls. She wouldn't follow you around blushing, or hand you a homemade bento like some demure future housewife. None of that otaku fantasy bullcrap with her; she respected strength and courage, and had plenty of both. Hell, in the very first episode she decapitated her father's demon-possed corpse with an axe, with cold precision and little emotion. Be still, my beating heart!

But alas, like all crushes, this new love was fleeting. As Occult Academy declined in quality, its protagonist lost that special badassery that made her so endearing in the first place. Perhaps the fault was mine; I had so romanticized her in those early days that, when her true personality began to shine through, I grew disillusioned. Or perhaps Maya herself became somewhat less interesting and unique as the series went on. Whatever the reason, I found my love for Maya dwindling. By the last episode, she was wrapped around Fumiaki's arm and I couldn't care less.

It's all for the best, I suppose. I can't prove my feelings were anything other than a simple puppy-dog infatuation. Maybe it was the miniskirt, or those sexy, sexy legs. Or maybe, just maybe, there was actually the spark of something deeper there: true love. If only things had been different. If only...

Ah, no sense dwelling what-ifs and has-beens. Maya, I'll never forget you. There will always be a special place in my heart for the angry, slightly tsundere girl with the killer legs, burning passion and icy heart. Whatever life may bring, you will always be my first anime crush, if not my waifu. Farewell. I will forever treasure the brief time we shared.

About Jon

Jon is a Japanese culture enthusiast, professional pervert and roleplaying fanatic who appreciates flexible gender identities. He enjoys science fiction, Gunpla, classical music and Red Stripe.
  • Brother, your introspection on the crush-theory hits me hard. I, too, fell in love with her when I saw her in a con-screening..mostly because of the TABLE-SMASH and AXE-SLASH. However, I have yet to watch past Episode 1 to really know what you’re talking about, true personality and all.

    ..btw, the naked guy from the heavens at the end must be a clue..and it has me worried. :

    • Kei

      The first two episodes are good. After that… bleh.

  • Everyone has a story to tell… in the summer of 2010.
    I love headbands, too.

    • Kei

      O_O Yeah, her headband was TOTALLY what I was staring at.

  • Anonymous

    Need more be said?

  • Quite the pity she was trapped in that crappy show; such a waste of a compelling character.

  • Mallory

    So, in the Podcast, Jon states that he would like to be in a Samurai Girl’s porn, but in this post he says “In my opinion, those promiscuous girls with the giant, floppy tits from Highschool of the Dead or Samurai Girls aren’t sexy in the slightest.”

    I sense a discrepancy!

    • Kei

      My standards for porn are understandably low.

      • Just because you don’t find them attractive doesn’t mean you won’t accept money in exchange for humping them on camera, huh?

      • Mallory

        So you have the whole wide world of anime to pick from and you choose a show with characters that you find completely unattractive?

        Humm I hear the sound of tracks being covered.

      • Kei

        Humm, I hear the sound you reading WAY too much into a silly Twitter question.

      • Anonymous

        Remember, the more defensive he gets, the closer to the truth you are.

      • Yup, I think she’s onto something.
        Though this will probably end when Jon posts a couple of paragraphs in reply and she wanders off after realizing she didn’t actually care all that much.

      • Kei

        More likely that I’ll just wander off after spotting something shiny. Ooh, my new Optimus Prime toy is here!

  • ???


    some broad from Occult Academy

    • Kei

      You’re onto something here. Keep going…